Someone once told me, there are two types of men:
1) One who would give away their sweater on a freezing
winter night to help a damsel under-dressed for winters.
2) An other’s who would simply say I can’t control the weather, but you should have been wiser.
Taking the above fact into account, I believe there are two types of Women:
1) One who believes “mard ko dard nai hota, jitna marzi abuse karo“ meaning (abuse men as much as you want, for they won’t ever feel pain”.
2) One who is realistic and out of there fantasy world of a beast coming to rescue the beauty and believe that men to are humans and understand there is a softer side as well, but these responsibilities, social constructs and stereotypes prevent them to let their ego down.
Let me tell you a transition of the sweet guy to the ill-mannered rude guy with a story:
There used to be a very generous and chivalrous guy, everybody used to love him. Especially girls for he would be very nice to girls like a perfect gentleman. He wouldn’t think one moment before helping a person out, even if it costs him dearly.
One fine winter night, after an amazing dinner with his date, while escorting her back to her home. He could sense that his date was under-dressed. Feeling cold, so he being a perfect gentleman, gave away his overcoat to the beautiful lady. When they reached her home, the lady kissed him on the cheek, thanked him for an amazing night and went home.
As happy a man can get, thinking about the night, he started walking back home, which was approximately 5 blocks away. On the way back he could see a girl around the corner of the street. She was shivering like anything and was waiting for someone who was on his way to pick her up. As the guy approached closer, she asked the guy for help and the kind guy he was, without a thought gave away his jacket as this lady had to wait in the cold.
Now as he was walking in his trousers and shirt, just one block away from his home, he could see a homeless person sitting next to the dumpster asking for help. He hesitated a while, thinking what more can I give, I have given everything I was wearing. Then he could see the homeless guys face, it was stone cold, his hands dried out, his face sucked up and dry, his torn out pants and his chest bereft any piece of clothing. The homeless person begged for help with tears in his eyes.
The Act of Bravery..?
All our generous hero had in his eyes was pity and the feeling that maybe, if I could give him mine, I would have to go back in my undergarments, cold. But since at this hour everybody would be asleep and I would be back warm in my bed in just 5 mins. If I run fast and this guy would not have to sleep cold, disheartened and might be able to see another day’s light.
Weighing his options, he gave away his last pieces and rushed back. But what he could not have comprehended was the fact that there was a house party going on late night, where all the guys & the girls were outside. He had no alternate routes so he decided to run past the busy street covering his face. As he was rushing he slipped off the ice, fell and became unconscious for a few minutes just next to the party house. Now guys and girls saw the man fall and came rushing to him. When they saw him naked and conscious, they called up the police that a naked, pervert, mad man is running around in the streets. The Police caught him and took him in. It took him 2 days to complete the formalities and get released after explaining his story.
The Changed Guy:
Next time the guy was walking around in the snowy street back to his home, he could see a lady waiting for a taxi under-dressed for the severe cold the winter had brought. She asked him for help.
This time, he simply said,
“I am sorry, I can’t control the weather, but you can control your dressing”.
First of all, one needs to understand, there could possibly be no person who would be this generous to give away all his clothing, be it a winter night or not. A logical, generous person would probably go back home, bring a blanket and give it to the homeless guy.
The story is only a form to depict there are times when we give ourself’s completely. Without even thinking, especially in our relationships like the guy who gave away everything without thinking of the possible consequences.
All our self-esteem, self-respect, we trade for just wanting to be with a person and it breaks us, so badly when the person leaves us. It alters our mind and how we perceive the world. The experiences we gather are added to what decision we will take the next time. This can be the reason for a big transformation, a generous person becoming a cold-hearted one. And we should not judge and create stereotypes using these examples when we don’t know a person’s history.
The MORAL………..What One Needs to Understand is:
1) There is a fine line between generosity and stupidity. If you want to be chivalrous and generous make sure you have something to give.
“We cannot pour water with an empty vessel“
Don’t give away your self-respect and self-esteem and stoop to a level of begging. The one who has to return will, if not, there never really was anything in the first place.
2) Don’t judge people with men or women stereotypes. Every person has their own story. Judging them with such small acts of being able to give you a sweater or not and classifying men into 2 categories. Based on this, or classifying a girl with the amount of clothes she’s wearing into types of women. And making it a stereotype is not the right direction towards thinking if we wish to promote gender equality.
3) Dressing is very important, please do consider the season or please bear with the consequences of your choices. That would be the first step toward being an empowered, self-reliant & independent.
“One is free to choose, but not free from the consequences of their choice” ~Anonymous
Men would always be there to help you, not all men are dogs. But if they don’t please understand they might have their own issues or you were right in assuming they were dogs.
PS: It all started with a joke, and we had good laughs about it. But after some time it made me wonder how the stereotypes are created. So I thought about writing something regarding this topic and the stereotypes that depict the men in the society. This article has not been written in favour of anyone or to discriminate on the basis of gender. It is a matter of fact a simple observation of the events, social stereotypes and constructs that are created.
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